Post by michele cryer on Nov 5, 2004 14:12:32 GMT
To the citizens of the United States of America. In the light of your failure to elect a worthwhile President and thus to govern yourselves properly, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today.
Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy.
Your new prime minister (The rt. hon. Tony Blair, MP) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up "aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at how it should be pronounced.
2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know on your behalf.
3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It really isn't that difficult.
4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys.
5. You should stop worrying so much about the state of your teeth. There are more important things in life.
6. You should stop playing American "football". There is only one kind of football. The “World Series” will still be allowed, but will now be known as the “Only One Country Series”.Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed
to play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full body armour).
7. The French will not be allowed to win any wars for you this time. Indeed, you should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons if they give you any merde.
8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 5th will be a new national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Indecisive Day".
9. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen".
10. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.
**MESSAGE ENDS**
(reprinted from www.bagism.com supplied by Adam31) with thanks
Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy.
Your new prime minister (The rt. hon. Tony Blair, MP) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up "aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at how it should be pronounced.
2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know on your behalf.
3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It really isn't that difficult.
4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys.
5. You should stop worrying so much about the state of your teeth. There are more important things in life.
6. You should stop playing American "football". There is only one kind of football. The “World Series” will still be allowed, but will now be known as the “Only One Country Series”.Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed
to play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full body armour).
7. The French will not be allowed to win any wars for you this time. Indeed, you should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons if they give you any merde.
8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 5th will be a new national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Indecisive Day".
9. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen".
10. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.
**MESSAGE ENDS**
(reprinted from www.bagism.com supplied by Adam31) with thanks
