Post by michele cryer on Feb 3, 2005 16:01:39 GMT
Well this part of the forum has been rather quiet of late, so I've reprinted this rather witty article from www.bagism.com ...thanks to the member of that site!
Queen of England dismisses parasites
Posted by **Indochine Penizoid X** on Feb 2, 2005 at 11:56:09 PM:
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London, UK - Alarming her royal entourage at Windsor Palace and legions of British spectators, Queen Elizabeth II has announced the dismissal of the hundreds of parasitic worms and grubs that have dwelled for years in the abdomen of the stinking, overpampered old bag.
In an unprecedented act, the Queen herself offered a public statement regarding her private bodily efforts. 'My pasty, inbred 80 year old royal ass,' explained the Queen 'is unusually susceptible to various slimy tapeworms and caterpillars, many of which are remarkable in their colouration. In my hard work and concern for matters of state and commonwealth, I have allowed such specimens to accumulate and take residence in my bloated and wrinkly confines. I certainly regret the damage this has caused to the prestige of our royal house, but it was high time I addressed this issue.'
The Queen noted that she had personally authorized parliament to enter her body and extract the organisms using a variety of obsolete and mysterious silver-plated instruments obtained from a dusty box of old Victorian era sex toys recently recovered from the basement of Buckingham Palace.
As tabloid journalists frantically pursued the story with 24 hour internet coverage and scrambled to issue special tabloid editions with detailed maps of the queen's body and explanations of the expulsion, royal press agents urged the nation to remain calm, repeatedly emphesizing that the ongoing sterilization would 'certainly do nothing less than reinvigorate her Majesty, giving her new energy to go about her formal duties'.
The Queen has remained in remarkable health, although she has recently undergone surgery to remove globs of fatty cartilage from both of her knees.
Queen of England dismisses parasites
Posted by **Indochine Penizoid X** on Feb 2, 2005 at 11:56:09 PM:
-------
London, UK - Alarming her royal entourage at Windsor Palace and legions of British spectators, Queen Elizabeth II has announced the dismissal of the hundreds of parasitic worms and grubs that have dwelled for years in the abdomen of the stinking, overpampered old bag.
In an unprecedented act, the Queen herself offered a public statement regarding her private bodily efforts. 'My pasty, inbred 80 year old royal ass,' explained the Queen 'is unusually susceptible to various slimy tapeworms and caterpillars, many of which are remarkable in their colouration. In my hard work and concern for matters of state and commonwealth, I have allowed such specimens to accumulate and take residence in my bloated and wrinkly confines. I certainly regret the damage this has caused to the prestige of our royal house, but it was high time I addressed this issue.'
The Queen noted that she had personally authorized parliament to enter her body and extract the organisms using a variety of obsolete and mysterious silver-plated instruments obtained from a dusty box of old Victorian era sex toys recently recovered from the basement of Buckingham Palace.
As tabloid journalists frantically pursued the story with 24 hour internet coverage and scrambled to issue special tabloid editions with detailed maps of the queen's body and explanations of the expulsion, royal press agents urged the nation to remain calm, repeatedly emphesizing that the ongoing sterilization would 'certainly do nothing less than reinvigorate her Majesty, giving her new energy to go about her formal duties'.
The Queen has remained in remarkable health, although she has recently undergone surgery to remove globs of fatty cartilage from both of her knees.
I'd suggest drontal! titter.