Post by Gonzo on Jun 22, 2005 10:04:20 GMT
Hot p u s s y news, catnippers,
I had to rush over to Oldham for this one, slinking along 't canal, to interview celeb Barmy Bamford, caught wit his pants down in a back alley with pet goat Germaine near Oldham's famous market, and near some delapidated building where some a r s e called Winston Churchill once gave a speech, whoop de do!
Ball busting Bamford is to appear at Oldham Magistrates sometime in July for indecent exposure to his goat Germaine.
I managed to grab a quick interview with poor Germaine, who has been in shock ever since. Germaine the goat has been around, catnippers, and she's seen a few John Willy's in her time. 'ere's wot she had to say about the whole sorry business,
Gonzo: Hey up, Germaine, hows ya doing after ya trauma? Must 'ave been HARD.
Germaine/Goat (a rare nannyista breed, found only in certain parts o' Lanc-i-shire: eeee Gonzo, dithering dustbins, I thought me and Barmy were on some political business, cause ya see sirs, gonzo, we're like partners you know and noone can say that I ain't got a track record of strong direct action - heaven help an honest goat - and I do me bit.
Well, I dunno, it must 'ave been the heat or summit, he's dead but he won't lie down, and Barmy seemed a little more excitable than usual. Before I knew it, he had me down some back alley, trousers off, and I gotta tell ya Gonzo, it was the smallest 'John Willy' I've ever seen.
Barmy and me, we been courtin' for years,
But he's never asked me to wed
When leap year comes round I give three hearty cheers
Hip hip hooray, hip hip hooray, hip hip hooray,
Cause I do the askin instead
I don't want to die an old maid,
So I sing him this serenade,
Barmy, Barmy - lead me to the alter
I'll make a better man of you!
Barmy, Barmy
Buy the bricks and mordar,
And we'll build a love nest for two
Barmy, Barmy lead me to the alter
And make all me nightmares come true.
Barmy, Barmy lead me to the alter
I don't cost much to keep in food,
Barmy, Barmy mother says you oughta
So take me while I'm in the mood.
Barmy, Barmy lead me to the alter
And I'll show you where I'm tatooed.
Don't muck the goods about nolonger
My old age pensions nearly due!
Barmy, Barmy lead me to the alter
It's either the workhouse or YOU OOOOOOOOOOOO.
I'll be seein' him in court, Gonzo, and by heck he'd better make an honest goat o' me!
I'll be off now, young Gonzo, it weren't no 'biggest Aspidistra for sure, I can tell ya that. Now, I've to rush off and get me clogs out o' pawn'.
;D 
I had to rush over to Oldham for this one, slinking along 't canal, to interview celeb Barmy Bamford, caught wit his pants down in a back alley with pet goat Germaine near Oldham's famous market, and near some delapidated building where some a r s e called Winston Churchill once gave a speech, whoop de do!
Ball busting Bamford is to appear at Oldham Magistrates sometime in July for indecent exposure to his goat Germaine.
I managed to grab a quick interview with poor Germaine, who has been in shock ever since. Germaine the goat has been around, catnippers, and she's seen a few John Willy's in her time. 'ere's wot she had to say about the whole sorry business,
Gonzo: Hey up, Germaine, hows ya doing after ya trauma? Must 'ave been HARD.
Germaine/Goat (a rare nannyista breed, found only in certain parts o' Lanc-i-shire: eeee Gonzo, dithering dustbins, I thought me and Barmy were on some political business, cause ya see sirs, gonzo, we're like partners you know and noone can say that I ain't got a track record of strong direct action - heaven help an honest goat - and I do me bit.
Well, I dunno, it must 'ave been the heat or summit, he's dead but he won't lie down, and Barmy seemed a little more excitable than usual. Before I knew it, he had me down some back alley, trousers off, and I gotta tell ya Gonzo, it was the smallest 'John Willy' I've ever seen.
Barmy and me, we been courtin' for years,
But he's never asked me to wed
When leap year comes round I give three hearty cheers
Hip hip hooray, hip hip hooray, hip hip hooray,
Cause I do the askin instead
I don't want to die an old maid,
So I sing him this serenade,
Barmy, Barmy - lead me to the alter
I'll make a better man of you!
Barmy, Barmy
Buy the bricks and mordar,
And we'll build a love nest for two
Barmy, Barmy lead me to the alter
And make all me nightmares come true.
Barmy, Barmy lead me to the alter
I don't cost much to keep in food,
Barmy, Barmy mother says you oughta
So take me while I'm in the mood.
Barmy, Barmy lead me to the alter
And I'll show you where I'm tatooed.
Don't muck the goods about nolonger
My old age pensions nearly due!
Barmy, Barmy lead me to the alter
It's either the workhouse or YOU OOOOOOOOOOOO.
I'll be seein' him in court, Gonzo, and by heck he'd better make an honest goat o' me!
I'll be off now, young Gonzo, it weren't no 'biggest Aspidistra for sure, I can tell ya that. Now, I've to rush off and get me clogs out o' pawn'.
;D 
"
